


The Scale

by orphan_account



Series: The Saga of the Doctor and his Bladder [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Embarrassment, Episode: s03e02 The Shakespeare Code, Episode: s03e06 The Lazarus Experiment, Episode: s03e07 42, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 12:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18828292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: To combat the Doctor's bathroom shyness, Martha designates a scale. It is successful, despite the few..obstacles along the way.





	The Scale

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Double Detoxing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18807829) by [Forget_About_Me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forget_About_Me/pseuds/Forget_About_Me). 



Martha spent the rest of the morning worrying about what happened the night before. She should’ve guessed _that_ was his problem, as soon as she saw his frown at the mention of a bathroom break. Of course, it made him uncomfortable. It was a reminder of what he wouldn’t allow himself. She decided she had to ensure he followed her advice. His shyness, in combination with his biology, would definitely lead to discomfort, and possibly even infections. She wondered how she was going to get him to admit when he needed the loo.

 

An idea came to her. Clearly, the events of the previous day had taught him not to lie to his companion about it, so the only thing she needed to help him with, was a way of letting her know, without letting _others_ know. A sort of code...

 

As soon as the TARDIS was in flight away from the angry Queen Elizabeth, who was mad at the Doctor for whatever he did/would do to her, earlier in her timeline, later in his, Martha brought up her solution.

  
“I want to talk about last night,” she began.

  
“In what way?” The Doctor asked carefully, a bit uncomfortable about the subject.

  
“In order for me to be sure that you follow my advice, I came up with a system. A way for you to tell me when you need the loo, so the pain of yesterday doesn’t repeat itself,” Martha explained.

 

The Doctor blushed, looking at her apprehensively.

 

“I know you don’t like to, but it’s clearly not easy for you to take initiative yourself. This _system_ involves stating it to me indirectly, and covertly,” Martha advertised. The Doctor indicated interest at the word _covert..._

 

“It involves a scale of numbers from 1-10. If you need to go, you inform me by rating the urgency. I will ask you about it, when I see fit. That way I know how to help, and anyone within hearing range will think it’s about math, or something. Sound good?” Martha presented, and asked.

 

The Doctor slowly started to smile at the description of the proposed scale.

  
“Yes! That’d work brilliantly! Scale it is!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, hugging her.

 

**Lazarus Laboratories, 2008**

 

The Doctor had just been called a “geek” by Martha’s sister. Naturally, he took it as a lovely compliment. He finished his drink, and put the empty glass down on a waiter’s tray. Taking one step to look back at Martha’s family, he suddenly felt a mild tickling sensation in his bladder. Obviously caused by all the champagne, and time passed at the party. Exploiting the distance between him and Martha, the Doctor quietly asked a waiter for directions to the loo, and wandered discreetly out of the room. Next to the elevator, he spotted the sign to the men’s room. Directly below it on the door, he, unfortunately, found an “out of order” notice.

 

 _Oh well, I can wait until the party dials down a little, try one at a higher floor,_ he decided, mustering the confidence to return to the party, despite his slight discomfort.

 

The meeting of Martha’s mother, Francine did not go smoothly. As happened with Jackie, he received a classic, painful motherly slap! He absentmindedly clenched his legs together at the surprise, worried about leaking, as the slap had shaken his lower muscles just a little. Martha asked him if he was okay. A slap ordinarily would leave him “ok”, but under the circumstances, he replied “Eh,” with a shrug. Martha noticed his posture.

  
“The scale?” she asked, using their system.

  
“3,” he designated, with a blush.

  
“Didn’t you slip away before?” she asked, curiously.

 

“It was out of order,” he explained, still annoyed.

 

“Alright. Just try not to think about it. You can probably slip away to the second floor after the experiment,” Martha advised him. He nodded in agreement.

  


“Trying not to think about it” ended up lasting longer than intended, as the Doctor worried about the result of Lazarus’ de-ageing. The physically youthful 71-year-old seemed strangely hungry, and he seemed to experience slight muscle spasms in his neck.

 

Upon a study of his DNA, the Doctor and Martha found that he was internally mutating every second. Undoubtedly dangerous. The Doctor crossed his legs, as his bladder came back to nudge him.

 

“Where’re you at now?” Martha questioned with concern.

  
“Close to a 5, I think” the Doctor replied, sighing tensely.

 

“I think Lazarus went upstairs. You can go there, while I check what he’s mutating into,” she suggested. The Doctor nodded, and they headed up in the elevator, during which the Doctor was tapping his feet with crossed legs. Looking around, Martha found Lazarus’ office, and the Doctor found a sign for the men’s room. They went their separate ways.

 

As soon as the Doctor had his hand on the door-handle to the toilets, Martha called for him. She had found a body, that of Richard’s wife.

 

“Is that Lady Thaw?” Martha asked.

  
“Used to be. Had all the life energy drained out, like squeezing the juice out of an orange,” he confirmed. The Doctor squeezed his legs together at his choice of analogy.

 

“We need to find Lazarus!” he announced, leading Martha back to the elevators. Speak of the mutated creature, Lazarus stepped out of the elevator with Martha’s sister, Tish.

 

After a light argument between the two sisters, and a (slightly wiggly) interrogation by the Doctor, Lazarus went back down to the party for another snack.

 

“You alright, Mr Smith?” Tish asked, noticing how tense the Doctor was.

 

“Yeah, I’m just a bit six..sickLY, from the nibbles.” the Doctor lied, while updating his situation to Martha.

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Tish remarked in sympathy.

  
“I’ll be fine, just thought I’d head in here, just in case..I’ll be fine a bit,” The Doctor explained, walking off to the loo. Martha and Tish stepped into the elevator, leaving the Doctor free to step in the door, finally.

 

Unsurprisingly, the bathroom was completely empty, so he just walked up to a urinal and let go, to great relief. He made a “zero” hand gesture to Martha upon his return.

 

**Torajii system, 42nd Century**

 

The Doctor squirmed in pain inside the Stasis Chamber. He was babbling about some life-saving process, so Martha tried to find a distraction. She saw how he was crossing his legs, or, trying in his thick spacesuits, so she decided to randomly bring up the scale.

  
“Where are you on the scale?” she asked him. He stopped whining for a second, at the odd question.

  
“Eight!” he moaned in reply, shifting his suit around as proof. Martha frowned at the added problem, but continued comforting him.

  


Martha made a note of the Doctor’s bouncing from foot to foot, as he took off his very hot spacesuit. She asked if he was okay, to a cheerful, if possibly false, reply of “Sure, never felt better!”.

 

Once inside the TARDIS, going wherever they were going next, Martha considered the possibility that the Doctor was okay, because the problem had.. _sorted itself out,_  so to speak.

 

“So, you still an 8?” she asked him, curiously. The mention of the scale brought the feeling of his (still) full bladder, back into the Doctor’s awareness.

 

“I think I’ve reached a 9! Be right back!” he announced, grasping his crotch desperately, hobbling hurriedly to the loo, returning with a clearly relieved smile on his face.

  
“Probably would’ve wet myself if I hadn’t been reminded, thanks Martha!” he said in gratitude.

 

“That’s what the scale is for! Among other things,” Martha replied happily, reminding him of the pain he caused himself in Tudor England.

  
The Doctor raised his eyebrows in agreement, remembering it clearly.

 

“Indeed. Brilliant system, great help, Fantastic help!” the Doctor cheered, imitating his former incarnation. The two doctors rejoiced in a high five, as they anticipated their future adventures.

 

The End.


End file.
